Dan J. Brennan

Julie Clawson: White Men, Submission, and the Kingdom of God

Julie Clawson wrote on her Facebook status this past week: 

"Why is it always white, middle-class, highly-educated males who argue that dying to the self for the sake of commitment and accountability to a local church despite disagreement, silencing, or abuse is the only way one can be a part of the kingdom of God? And who then say that experience and emotion are not valid ways of knowing so that they do not have to ever listen to such theological voices that challenged the theologies of privilege that support their places of power in the system while silencing others. I don't care if my view is 'Romantic' or birthed from identity politics, when men tell women and minorities that they just need to shut up and submit to abuse for the sake of Jesus I do not see the kingdom of God at work."

This is why there are going to be more women--including women who are pastors, theologians, and therapists at the Sacred Friendship Gathering this year than there will be white men (white men who are leaders). More evangelical women than men see friendship as a healthy path for healthy community and gender reconciliation. White men are vulnerable to continue to emphasize abstract systems designed with one-size-fits all solutions to authority, voice, and leadership. 

There are huge challenges when educated white men emphasize the death of self, accountability within a local church as the only way for "real" Christian and spiritual experience and authority. Educated women in the 21st century like Julie get it. 

Jesus, Family, and the Kingdom of God

Here is something to ponder:

"Jesus was not a family man" writes Dale Martin.  He continues, "all of our Gospels present Jesus as creating and living within an alternative to the household: an itinerant group of men and women unrelated to one another by blood or marriage, most of whom had also apparently separated from their families.  Jesus called his disciples away from their households."

Earlier, Martin opined, "Contemporary Christianity in the United States--whether Protestant or Catholic, liberal or conservative--has so closely aligned with the basic message of Christianity with the family and 'traditional family values' that it is currently in a state of idolatry.  Increasingly, whether they are religious or not, people in America tend to equate Christianity with the family and family values."

Martin says apparently,  Jesus' distancing himself from the family had to do with the kingdom of God: "In the resurrection of the dead, people will neither marry nor are married, but they are as angels in heaven" (Mark 12:25; Matt. 22:30).  Martin says that the evidence from the Gospels indicates that Jesus, "not only avoided marriage and family himself but also taught people to forsake those institutions and enter into an alternative, eschatological society.  The household was part of the order he was challenging.  It along with other institutions of power, would be destroyed with the coming kingdom."

Forging a Soul Friendship: Areas of Struggle

We continue our series on Mindy Caliguire's book, Spiritual Friendship.  In making the comments I have about finding safe friends, I don't want to be misunderstood: although small, this book is rich and deep.  I highly recommend it. 

The point I am belaboring about flawed people (how about that phrase vs. "unsafe"?) is that patience and faith--the fruit of the Holy Spirit--the intentional practice to pursue the fruit with a particular friend in a spiritual friendship forges the friendship and forms character.  Jesus came to call not the safe people in the world, but the unsafe.  He calls men and women to go deep with each other.  How much patience do you have to exercise with a "safe" person?  It depends I guess, wouldn't you think on the degree of emotional maturity and the degree of intimacy one pursues. 

It's interesting that when Caliguire writes on "matching" she feels compelled to write about accepting unmatched dynamics with: do not get angry or do not judge.  That to me, indicates her intentional audience perhaps, maybe flawed people--and that it is a real temptation and a real wound if you begin to go deep and find someone "unmatched." 

In her chapter on areas of struggle, I resonate with Caliguire's perspective:

David and Jonathan 5: Union-Love and Missional Friendships

"The intense friendship of the two Israelities, lasting till death, depended upon the willingness of each man to give for that which is received, to forgo self-interest, to convert separate identities into togetherness" writes Robert Brain.

If I understand what some Christians are saying in the emerging conversation, there is a fresh cognizance to pursue both Christians and nonChristians in authentic friendship.  Mak is the one who most recently wrote on this although there are others encouraging authentic friendship outside the church as well.

 

Saints in Love: A Wedding of Souls

In some ways, Hallundbaeks' first chapter reminds me of Kathleen Norris' The Cloister Walk. 

Hallundbaek uses the intimate but sexless friendship between Francis of Assisi and Clare as a model for faithful and sacramental marriages!!

I love it. 

She tells the lovely story of the risk of love, risk for Clare, and the risk for Francis. Francis "risked the entire Franciscan community to receive her."  Her story of Clare and Francis is wonderfully woven around love, obedience, and intimacy.

She writes, "Much of their passion, perseverance, and success would come from this central point of enclosure, of being turned to each other, forsaking all others, all earthly options, all worldly distractions."

"Celibacy is not about falling in love...It's about falling in love over and over and over again...This is a great gift, to be able to keep choosing our relationship, our marriage, and our life regardless of its demands, whirlwind busyness, routine or familiarity.  It is Love."  In the end, she writes at another place, "our desire for each other is our desire for God.  Francis and Clare modeled this for us, spiritually, romantically, sexually, and faithfully."

 

For Our Missional God so Loved

Miroslav Volf:

"Here is how the apostle Paul told the story of Christmas: 'For you know the generous act of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that by his poverty you might become rich' (2 Cor. 8:9).  The Son of God did not dwell among humans just to open our vista onto the blissful exchanges within the Godhead.  He divested Himself of heavenly wealth and became an impoverished child so the fragile flesh of humanity could be taken up into God's embrace.  The circle of the Eternal Intimates opened up, and gifts traversed its boundaries to reach those in need.  Our gifts shouldn't just travel on a two-way street so givers and receivers can delight in one another; they should travel on a one-way street so that the needy may be helped, being imparted to those who may not be able to give in return...The advent of the light into the darkness of the world is not the goal; it is part of the movement toward the goal.  Like God, we should give to the needy without any distinction, to stanger and to kin, to undeserving and deserving...when the need is present, a gift should be given, irrespective of whose need it is...Only the ungracious and reluctant givers inspect the causes of a need and dole out the benefits in proportion to its legitimacy."

Diverse Opinions on Intimate Cross-Sex Friendship: An Around-the-Table

Just a brief glimpse of the diverse opinions from Christian and secular authors on close friendships between men and women who are not married to each other:

Living God's Story: Being a People of Reconciliation and Peace 2

"Sin does not have the final word in the Christian story," according to Paul Waddell, "because God is gracious to us...Like a forgiving friend, God does not hold our wrongs against us....Sometimes we are the enemies of God, but God refuses to let our enmity prevail.  Like a friend who won't give up on us, God works to free us from our destructive inclinations through the creative ingenuity of love." 

Waddell observes, "It would be a tragedy if sin were the last word in the story, but in the lexicon of Christianity grace, love and forgiveness are spoken much more often, much more eloquently, and much more powerfully than the language of sin.  Sin is real, it is virulent and it is toxic, but it pales before the liberating power of grace and the healing power of forgiveness."

It rings true that "God is much a like friend who won't give up on us."  Its one of the reasons "friend" is a powerful metaphor in the Christian story; it's not the only one, but there are not to many metaphors that rise above a "Like a forgiving friend, God does not hold our wrongs against us."

If we are going to be a people of reconciliation and peace, we must come back again and again to the virtue and practice of forgiveness...in our marriages...in our specific friendships...in our communties...and in our world. 

Living God's Story: Being a People of Reconciliation and Peace

Paul Waddell, for you Protestant readers who know Scot McKnight, is sort of like the Catholic version of Scot.  He's a serious thinker who has a great breadth of academic knowledge but he has this incredible gift to translate it in such accessible language without losing the depth.  That is a skill and gift.  I say it again, that there would be many emerging folk out there who would find Waddell to be an implicit "emerging" Catholic, if there is such a thing. 

One of the dangers I think Christians in the emerging conversation, face, is a "communal" sectarianism.  In the "modern" splits of evanglicalism, there were splits involving a "doctrinal" sectarianism.  But I think Christians in the emerging movement face a different temptation.  I will never forget my first meeting with "emerging" Christians.  Brian McLaren was present among an intimate group of believers.  There were several questions posed to McLaren about the Willow Creek model.  Now, I have to admit my own bias and subjectivity, here.  I'm not an advocate of the Willow Creek model.  Personally, my first reaction to learning that Scot McKnight attended Willow Creek, was, "Huh?"   

However, I see something profoundly good, profoundly Christian good, that Scot McKnight, a leading emerging thinker and blogger, attends Willow Creek, even if I don't understand it.  This is connected, I think to Waddell's encouragement that living God's story means we are to be a people of reconciliation and peace. 

Finding a Story Worth Handing On

Here is a chapter summary from Paul Waddell's newest book, Happiness and the Christian Moral Life. 

This book, is an accessible, thoughtful book from a deep Catholic thinker on ethics.  It's not your ordinary introduction to ethics textbook.  I can't recommend this book enough for your consideration.

"Christians believe that in Jesus they have found a story worth handing on and remembering.  It is a story that says joy and confidence are more in step with reality than depression and despair, that goodness is the power that sustains the world, and that love offered to anybody, even an enemy, is always the right way to go.  It's a story that gives us freedom to fail because God who brought us to life in the beginning will do so again and again." 

Ain't that one awesome summary of the Christian story?

This is one helluva story of the new life we have in Christ! :-)