Dan J. Brennan

Andrew Marin, Friendship, and the GLBT Community

There are some powerful conversion stories emerging out of the conversation in  Christian communities and GLBT communities.  Sara Miles' powerful story in Take This Bread does not fit into any neat traditional categories of sexuality and conversion. Well, it would have if she became straight. But she hasn't. On the other hand, there is, just as powerful, the journey of Melinda Selmys who leaves her lesbian lover of seven years to embrace the Roman Catholic faith (Sexual Authenticity: An Intimate Reflection on Homosexuality and the Catholic Church).

I am still mulling over Andrew Marin's book, Love is an Orientation. It is so challenging and refreshing in the midst of debates and heated rhetoric on both sides.  I believe sexuality and Christian friendship is going to be an ongoing conversation in the 21st century. Longtime readers of my blog will know my passion for close, intimate, flourishing male-female friendships. I also believe Christian friendship and the GLBT community will be an ongoing conversation.

Authentic Grace for Wounded Hearts

This is a post about authentic Christian friendship.  But before you anticipate where I am going to go on this, I might surprise you. 

A Culture of Suspicion vs. a Culture of Love

Carl Anderson's new book, A Civilization of Love: What Every Catholic Can Do to Transform the World is a popularization of of Pope John Paul's II vision of love.  Although it is written by a Catholic primarily to a Catholic audience, it is a worthy call to all Christians, especially evangelicals who get caught up in philosophical, psychological, or eschatological pessimism or suspicion.  As an evangelical, I applaud books like this.  My evangelical life for the most part, has been shaped by the evangelical sub-culture of suspicion.  Anderson has one chapter on "The Culture of Suspicion."  He reminds us about the three great "masters of suspicion:" Frederick Nietzsche, Karl Marx, and Sigmund Freud.

Communion and Friendship: The Privilege of Love

One book that has caught my attention recently is The Privilege of Love: Camaldolese Benedictine Spirituality.  These chapters are written by different authors who have been shaped by the Camaldolese Benedictine spirituality.

Living Spirituality

Greg Laughery's book, Living Spirituality: Illuminating the Path is a book born out of his experience at the L'Abri Fellowship community in Switzerland. 

 

27 Year Anniversary and a Provocative Proposal

It's an unplanned irony:  Oct. 17 Sheila and I celebrate our twenty-seventh anniversary--which will be a day after I sent out my provocative  proposal for close extramarital cross-gender friendships. 

Deep Friendship for Post-Freud Christians?

From the Russian Orthodox theologian Pavel Florensky's  (1882-1937) The Pillar and Ground of Truth

I like excerpts from these that are arguably untainted from critical charges of romanticism.  I also love quotes like this that appear unaffected by Freudian psychodynamics. 

I don't mean to be critical when I observe this but I wonder why (or is it just my limited experience?) we don't hear messages like this in evangelical pulpits and books when it comes to friendships?  Obviously, the cultural components like romanticism and Freud play a role here.  But its not like resources and accounts like this in Christian history are unknown.  We've made this comment here a couple times I believe--that so much of evangelical ecclesiology is driven by business models and therapeutic models--all militating against such depth as below.  I don't think I am off when I say that.  One of my "starry-eyed" goals in my book is to consider such depth in cross-gender friendship, too.  While the below would challenge such popular Christian ideas of boundaries, I think you can see he's not advocating a boundaryless union.  My other thought--is that this kind of friendship would be devalued in emerging churches.  Don't you think?  I don't think it has to, theoretically speaking, but I do think such deep friendships are not even on the map of emerging practices. 

What are your thoughts?  Ponder these thoughts:

The Centerfold Syndrome

I accidently came across the The Centerfold Syndrome: How Men Can Overcome Objectification and Achieve Intimacy with Women the other day at Trinity library while I was looking for another book on the shelf.  I was delighted to find this book written in 1995 by Gary Brooks.  Although written from a secular perspective, this book would serve as a great springboard for conversation in the Christian community.

Synchroblog--What is Missional?

A number of bloggers who are sympathetic to a new way of emphasis in ecclesial focus--i.e. churches who are self-consciously missional are blogging on what is missional today.  At the suggestion of Rick Meigs, What does it mean to be missional?  David Fitch, Len, Brother Maynard, Brad Bisco, Bill Kinnon, Jamie Arpin-Ricci, and Mak are just some of the many who are participating in the synchroblog.  All of them have some good, authentic thoughts to contribute to the conversation.

The Romantic Myth and Marriage 3

"More often than not, falling in love puts us inmarriage, but is not a foundation...Hard work is required to sustain spontaneous attraction and natural affection...When romance is the linchpin of a relationship or a marriage, then the couple, after the first wave of passion is gone, will have to work a great deal in order to conjure up passion and spontaneity.  The romance is likely to die because one or both partners become tired of working to restore what is supposed to be spontaneous passion.  When marriage and life are not dependent upon romance, the couple is free to be spontaneous and passionate.  The couple is free for passion because romance is something extra, a delight rather than a requisite for the very existence of their life together.  When a couple has a practical bond, they are free to be less clingy.  They will not fear diverting their attention from the romantic gaze.  Because sentiment is not the whole of their bond, they will be more open to other intimate friendships.  Other friendships will be considered an asset rather than a threat."

David Matzko McCarthy Sex and Love in the Home