Dan J. Brennan

Why Come to Bold Boundaries: Sexualization in the Churches

 David E Fitch & Geoff Holsclaw, in their book, Prodigal Christianity,

"In our society, there is a ubiquitous void of meaningful friendships, of relational intimacy, on any level. Much of this is caused by the oversexualization of all relationships (between men and women, between men, and between women) such that we are alienated from intimacy in any form. This has not only destroyed trust between the sexes but has created the loss of deep, caring, and intimate friendships within the sexes (men and women). The church’s failure to speak to this loss of friendship has been deafening. Instead we have capitulated to our sexualized culture. Indeed we have often institutionalized these failures and have separated the sexes and called it “living above reproach.” 

I can't think of a more urgent reason than this. White male pastors have sexualized relationships in our faith communities (the overwhelming majority of pastors in evangelical churches are white male pastors). 

It's time to have an important conversation about bold boundaries in friendships rather than perpetuate ongoing fear and sexualization in our churches. To stop with the peacemaking that simply nods. Let's stop with a superficial peacekeeping among pastors. Let's start making friendships between and women intentional. 

In five days, at Bold Boundaries, men and women, leaders and pastors are gathering together to share how a vision of friendship between men and women desexualizes the current, deep sexualization within evangelical communities and leaders. It's going to take some courage to have a daring conversation about men and women moving forward in the 21st century. 

Pastors like Kathy Silveira Escobar and Karl Wheeler, will be sharing their story. Emily Maynard and Jennifer Ould as single women will be courageously sharing their unique perspectives as singles living in a sexualized institution known as evangelical church. Elizabeth Chapin, professor at George Fox, will be talking about young friends without benefits. Jonalyn Grace Fincher will bravely talk about the beauty of a modesty of heart instead of the modesty police culture. Hugo Schwyzer on the myth of male weakness. Alise McCoy Wright and Rich Chaffins will be giving their story as worship leaders.

The only conference this year devoted to men and women learning as friends to break through sexualized paradigms in faith communities. Still some seats left. 

http://sacredfriendshipgathering.com/

Bold Boundaries Schedule: "Walked Many Miles in These Kinds of Friendships"

 

"The speakers at Bold Boundaries come to us with more than ideas about cross-gender friendships; they have walked many miles in these kinds of friendships, have ministered together within these kinds of friendships, and they will speak openly and authentically about their journeys, the challenges and the glories." Sheila Brennan

 

"The conference is not about providing abstract principles. Instead, it is real people making intentional choices to shift the status quo and offer positive ways for men and women to deepen their friendships with one another. Join me at Bold Boundaries. I promise it will be a refreshing change providing you with new perspectives and also new friendships with both men and women." Vicki Scheib

Here is this awesome lineup. It's just around the corner! Register here and be a part of something that is groundbreaking! 

Why Vicki Scheib is Coming to Bold Boundaries

Vicki Scheib attended last year’s Sacred Friendship Gathering while finishing her doctoral work at George Fox Seminary in Portland Oregon. The sincere conversations that happened at the conference helped refine her thesis and enhanced her own understanding of friendships between men and women. Plus, she thought the people were just cool.

Currently, Vicki is the new director of the Master’s in Christian Leadership program at Evangelical Seminary in Myerstown, PA. She is surprised by the opportunity to train leaders and encourage “bold boundaries” between men and women as they learn to work together and lead together. She is hopeful for the future as leaders learn to lead well and love well.

 

 

"Hurt Me So Bad When My Pastor (Who Said I Was His Friend)"

A reader writes to me:  "It hurt me so bad when my pastor (who said I was his friend) said one Sunday that he would never ride in the car with a woman alone even if they were broken down that he would "throw his cell phone at them..hahahaha". And this, of course, made me put myself in that place and experience how I would feel if he saw me stranded. It was then, in my mind I had been reduced to no longer a friend/sister, but reduced to a sexual object that he must avoid.

He also told me as a pastor he has to remain "above reproach"... 

 

Steubenville: Body-Parts Sexuality, Friendship, and Vulnerable Moments

I don’t know about you but I was in tears when I read Ann Voskamp’s post, After Steubenville: 25 Things Our Sons need to know about Manhood.

Beautifully written, Ann speaks passionately from the heart of a woman and mother who has been raised up in the evangelical church.

Ann spoke about a lot good and important things but I would like to add some thoughts to her incredible piece knowing full well I’m a white male and knowing I can’t even come close to writing as well as she does.

I know much has already been written on the Steubenville culture.

Can Jesus-followers speak hope into this darkness?  Can Jesus-followers speak hope for women?

Bold Boundaries: 8 Reasons You Don't Want to Miss This

 As followers of Jesus our highest calling is to follow Jesus first, safety second. Not safety first, and Jesus second. That’s why I am so looking forward to the next Sacred Friendship Gathering. 

Bold Boundaries:  Expanding Friendship Between Men and Women.

Yes, most of us know about a recent study which grabbed the headlines.

We also know that some Christians think bold boundaries translates as high walls. We have the best of intentions and we want to do the right thing. We build fences and draw lines in order to protect what we see as holy, sacred. This is good, admirable - but what if some of the boundaries we create are actually keeping us locked in from following Jesus?

 

What if our present understandings of boundaries in friendship between men and women actually fence us out from real growth, from real good, from real reconciliation???

 

 

 

Here are 8 solid reasons why you don't want to miss Bold Boundaries: Expanding Friendship Between Men and Women.