With permission to share, these are some passionate thoughts from my good friend Jean Holthaus who is a therapist. This was her email to me after she read my post on Differentiated Trust: Stand On Your Own Two Feet Kind of World.
"Poor differentiation…evangelical world-view…patriarchal systems…all of these are damaging to women and keep them in the child role--subjugated and unable to become all they were intended to be…they keep women small and quiet.
They are just as damaging to men and I find myself grieving the ways men are damaged and don’t even know it…it keeps men out of touch with large parts of themselves emotionally…it keeps men posing as something they aren’t and were never created to be…it creates an ideal of what a man is to be and required men to figure out how to be that regardless of what they were created to be…it keeps men subjugated to an ideal and hiding all parts of themselves that don’t fit the ideal…it keeps them feeling inferior to an ideal…it keeps them unable and unwilling to be known for fear of being discovered…it keeps them “powering up” in an attempt to prove they are men…it places on them the burden for taking care of everyone around them and having all the resources and knowledge and fortitude to do this…it keeps them feeling small and inept…and I grieve for the ways this damages the hearts and souls of men from the time they are very small.
As a woman, I am as grieved by what I see happening to men as I am by what happens to women. I know men are the dominate culture so it would appear they can change this, but I would argue this can only be changed if women fight for the liberation of men just as hard as men fight for the liberation of women…we need one another to truly be free…I have to fight for myself and I have to fight for men…the men in my life need to fight for themselves and fight for me…only then will we truly be the body of Christ…our enemy is not flesh and blood…we must stop struggling against one another and bond together to fight for the hearts of our friends…our brothers and sisters…our beloved ones (both male and female).
Just felt the need to say this…don’t know why it was sitting so strong within my heart but every time I read your blog post I found it welling up within me….