Dan J. Brennan

Quote of the Week

By my good friend, Lynne Tait commenting on the Irresistible Attraction post: 

"And the final indignity is that it is all too often the same people who preach this myth of male weakness who preach a doctrine of male leadership. No one has managed to explain how having no sexual self-control makes you more fit for spiritual leadership." 

Irresistible Attraction: Some Christian Thoughts Regarding James Knight Firing Melissa Nelson

I have some introductory rambling thoughts on the evangelical sub-culture and irresistible attraction.  I don't pretend to know the law but last Friday, an all-male Supreme Court in Iowa ruled in favor of a Fort Dodge dentist, James Knight , who fired his dental assistant, Melissa Nelson of 10 years because she became an “irresistible attraction.”

Perhaps you’ve seen some of the headlines:

“In Iowa You can be Fired if You are Too Pretty.”

"Irresistible’ Woman Fired For Being Too Sexy"

"Iowa Woman Fired for Being an ‘irresistible attraction." 

"Bosses Can Fire Hot Workers For Being ‘Irresistible’: All-Male Court"

Knight is a Christian.

Perhaps Some Evangelical Male Pastors Could Benefit from Therapy

Consider these two facts:

1. Today, in thousands of offices behind closed doors men and women who are not married to each other will meet in therapeutic relationships.

2. Today, in thousands of evangelical male pastor's offices, men will not meet with women behind closed doors.

Conversation on Beauty, Modesty, and Lust

This is sort of a round-up regarding the ongoing online conversation happening around beauty, modesty, and lust. I've selected several posts that have been written in the past year. I'm sure there have been others but these give you a distinctive flavor of the different views expressed by Christians either on their own personal blogs or Christian online publications.  If I've missed some other good online posts in recent months feel free to include their links in the comments section. 

I think there is such a deep need for this conversation in the Christian community. It is like a minefield to navigate through on issues of women in leadership, men and women as friends (including men and women who are married but not to each other), objectfying women in Christian community, objectifying men in Christian community, shame, women and eating disorders, male weakness, male responsibility, codependency, sexuality, non-romantic intimacy, marriage, women's self-esteem, sexual fundamentalism, and so on.

"Admiration is not Lust": Beauty, Lust, and Evangelical Shame

Dale Fincher of Soulation commented on his wife, Jonalyn Fincher's blog, Ruby Slippers. I have inserted italics.

Sweet Surprise

One of the deep blessings of shalom and trust in one's immediate community is you get to play. Do not underestimate the richness and subversiveness of play between men and women! Tonight my friend Jennifer Ould has a surprise for me. I'll tell you tomorrow!

Platonic Intimacy in Cross-Sex Friendship: A Conservative Evangelical Says Yes

I stumbled upon a conservative evangelical arguing for a biblical case for emotional intimacy in friendship.  When I first started to advocate for intimate friendships between men and women on my blog five years ago, I had several people approach me with the question, “Is it biblical?”  

For many conservatives, cross-gender friendship is not in the Bible. That closes the case for them. Other conservative evangelicals point to the absence of such examples as a clear indication platonic intimacy is not biblical and we should not nurture such closeness: “the only clear examples are of same-gender friendships (ie. David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, or Jesus and “the beloved disciple”).” Some insist, "Intimacy between a man and woman should be reserved for marriage, period."

I am always fascinated then when a conservative evangelical discovers platonic intimacy between men and women—even between men and women who are married but not to each other--as biblical.