After several days of exchanges with my friend, Jamal Jivanjee, I decided I have one more post in me about his book, Free to Love: How Oneness Transcends Marriage and Singleness. It’s hard for me because Jamal has been nice to me. It’s hard to be critical of a friend when they are nice to you. He’s been nice to me even when my reviews of his book disappointed him and hurt him. We both wish we were at a different place. If niceness was the key to be liberated from patriarchy, Jamal would lead innumerable people to freedom out of patriarchy.
One of my deepest passions in life the last several years has been the journey out of patriarchy into a life of Jesus-centeredness. In patriarchy, man has been the center, male privilege has been the center, instead of Jesus. The old paradigm of patriarchy has no compelling attraction for me. I do not find patriarchal nearness attractive. As a matter of fact, the psychology of patriarchy seems pretty dark to me these days.
In my friend’s book, Free to Love, Jamal has a lot to say about religion and the old world. He has a lot to say about religious old paradigms. As someone who has become a strong advocate for Jesus-centered friendships between in marriage and beyond, I had been eagerly looking forward to reading what Jamal was going to say in his book.
Well, as you might be aware by now, it was particularly vexing for me but I wrote a critical review on Amazon as well as my blog. Our friendship has become estranged even though in the midst of it, Jamal has been nice to me. Unlike a couple of his followers who have been harshly reactionary to me, Jamal has been nice which has made these past four weeks even more challenging for me. But I’m not here to be a people-pleaser for Jamal stuck in some kind of codependent relationship with him because he’s nice to me. I want to add a couple of more comments about the process after I have read his book.